"The Scorpiopod is the deadliest, and the most resilient insect in the world. We've been working round the clock for the last six weeks, but we're still waiting for a breakthrough that could bring it under control." Dr Arnold Humes is standing before a jungle of microphones, at the very front of an auditorium packed full with reporters. Several hundred cameras are focused on his face, and well over a thousand ballpoint pens are hovering restlessly over notepads, ready to scribble down his next statement. This press release is so important, it's being broadcast live on all the major TV networks, as well as on radio stations across the entire country.
The room is alive with murmurs and the scribbling of notes. An army of hands shoot up, and the chief organiser picks just one of them: a journalist from a prominent local newspaper. She asks: "Dr Humes, do we have any idea, as yet, where the Scorpiopod originated and how it got into the country?"
Humes clears his throat, and replies: "It's believed to have originated in Central Africa, possibly in Uganda, but sources are vague so we can't say for sure. What I can tell you is that theoretically, because of its stamina and its hardiness, the Scorpiopod could have migrated here from anywhere in the world." He pauses to clear his throat once more, before going on. "Here at the Denigan Institute, we believe the migration theory is impossible, for two reasons. Firstly, a colony of Scorpiopod would not undertake an extended voyage, by land or by sea, unless they were threatened in their natural habitat, and we now know for certain that they're not. Secondly, even if they did undertake such a voyage, they would not travel exclusively to this country, as they seem to have done."
The murmurs resume once more, only now they sound surprised, and also lost. Gasps of 'oh!', 'huh?', and 'really?' reverberate like a shockwave around the hall. "Quiet, please," the chief organiser shouts. "Ladies and gentlemen, we've got time for one last question. You." He points to a TV reporter in the third row.
The reporter asks: "What can we do, Doctor, to protect ourselves from these parasites?"
"The number one rule is to look out for them. Your average Scorpiopod is approximately five centimetres long, half a centimetre across, and almost entirely black. They're quite similar in appearance to the common millipede, so I warn you all explicitly that if you see an insect matching this description, act first and check later. Up close, it's quite easy to see the venomous pincers on the end of each of their legs. They can move as quickly as 6 km/h, which is roughly equivalent to the average person's walking speed."
Humes reaches into the podium, and holds up a glass container for all to see. "These cubes are made of 33mm thickness, reinforced glass. They open on hinges, " he demonstrates, "and snap shut in much the same way as a jewellery box or a glasses case. They are the safest way to capture a live Scorpiopod. From now on, make sure you carry one with you at all times. If you see a Scorpiopod in your home or office, don't hesitate to whip out your cube, lay it on top of the specimen, and snap it shut fast. Whatever you do, you must never attack them. Do not try to squash them, burn them, freeze them, drown them, or do anything else. This will only provoke them, in which case your life could be in serious danger.
"Finally, as of today, cubes will be distributed freely from all schools, hospitals, and police stations. Everyone should have at least one by the end of this week." Dr Humes exits the auditorium, leaving the reporters and cameramen with many unanswered questions to discuss amongst themselves.
That night, he gets home just in time for the evening news, which is an exclusive 'insect terror' one-hour special. "In a special press release this morning," the presenter says, "Dr Arnold Humes, from the Denigan institute, traced the source of the insect terror to Uganda." He sees footage of himself from several hours ago, before the presenter returns. "Although Dr Humes didn't explicitly say the insects were smuggled in, he pointed out the unlikeliness of their migrating exclusively to one country of their own accord. Authorities have already launched an investigation to answer the question: who did this, and why?"
Footage appears of the defence spokesman, who spoke after Dr Humes had left: "We're certainly not ruling out terrorism at this stage," he says. "Uganda is a known haven for extremist fundamentalists; we've had our eye on that whole region for some time. I hate to speculate, but it's uncanny that this so-called 'Scorpiopod' was virtually unheard-of before now. Intelligence sources have revealed that certain groups in Central Africa have recently been conducting gene-splicing experiments. If they are responsible for this crisis - and it doesn't seem unlikely at this time - then we'll be doing everything in our power to bring them to justice."
The next morning, Dr Humes opens his door to find the newspaper, as always, thrown on the front lawn. He picks it up and reads the headline: "Ugandan extremists responsible for insect terror". There's an eight-page lift-out with photos, diagrams, lists of hotlines, lists of what to do, and lists of what not to do. He recognises his own words, from yesterday's press release, in an article on page three: '"Do not try to squash them" - Dr Arnold Humes'.
He rolls up the paper, and is just about to go back inside, when he sees a small, black millipede. It's crawling along the ledge by the kitchen window, doing a little less than 6 km/h. Without the slightest hesitation, he lifts the rolled-up paper high into the air, slams it down on the ledge, and squashes the poor little insect. He wipes its remains onto the brickwork before returning indoors.